Saturday, June 18, 2005


As we have seen, Blazing Saddles was the turning point in the civil rights movement. The movement stopped being a movement and quickly became an industry with some very wealthy leaders (Thank you, Jesse Jackson). Another significant change was the fact that the workers no longer actually did anything (march, sit in, protest). Rather, they started to demand that YOU do something to satisfy their whims. Behold, the Willful Twit.

The classic example of a willful twit is the faux American Indian protestor. BBS (Before Blazing Saddles) Amerinds had a few valid complaints. The black civil rights movement came along and dragged them on board. They didn’t want the movement to be all about blacks, so they invited anyone who liked being called a victim to give them some cover.

ABS (after Blazing Saddles) all of the heavy lifting had been done and all the good workers had gone home. But, the American Indian girls weren’t satisfied. They had to find something to bitch about. They come up with a perfect faux issue. "How dare those sports teams use Indian references for their athletes" Unless you are an Indian, you can not imagine the shame that young Indians feel when they hear athletes referred to as Braves, Redskins or Indians. Just the thought of such suffering brings tears to my eyes. I try to imagine the oppression and degradation that I and my young ones would feel if any school had ever referred to their athletes as, "the Fighting Irish". Oh, the humanity!

The Indian girls wasted no time taking their cause to a group of the world’s foremost panderers: professional educators. School after school, recognizing the horror and the pain that they had been inflicting on this Minority immediately caved in and gave them what they wanted.
Stanford is no longer the Indians and St. Johns is not the Redmen. The list is quite long as other humanitarians joined the parade of apology and redemption.

My personal favorite is a little midwestern school named Miami of Ohio. Now, think about this. Miami University was named in honor of the Miami Indian tribe that had previously populated the area. When the willful twits decided to annoy, they applied their infinite wisdom to the issue and gave the school an ultimatum. "We Miami Indians will accept the honor of your naming the school Miami, but we cannot accept the insult of having representatives of the school referred to as Indians.

Of course, the school apologized and agreed to put an end to the inhumane practice. They have also changed their job application forms for college administrator. It now reads, "rational thought and backbone optional."

Why do I seem to be picking on school administrators? Well, let’s see what happens when the girls pull this crap on grown ups.

Flushed with success over the round-heels on campus, the twits took dead aim at the pros (Atlanta, Cleveland, Washington, et al.). Here they were confronted with rational adults. The response? Buzz off, or some other two-word phrase. The girls’ reaction? They quietly folded their tepees and went back to their full time jobs in the casinos.

The lesson here is to be on the lookout for whiny twits pushing phony-baloney issues .

Footnote, of sorts. In yesterdays edition of Pravda on the Bay (also known as the St. Pete Times) these two issues were raised.

1. It is impermissibly racist to note that a certain medication is directed at negroes even if it is a scientific fact the only persons of African ancestry would benefit from the med.

2. We know that many Americans are more interested in the plight of a missing person if she happens to be a pretty white girl than if he happens to be a homely negro. We have to do something about this. Look for more stories in the Times about homely black dudes who didn't come home last night and find a way to show how much we miss them.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well sir,

It just goes to show you how little some people Have to fo with their times. I guess thats why they drink so much. Like so many others they react to anything that they can take adsvanateg oif

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